One Year Ago..........

Do you know what you were doing one year ago today?

For once, I can tell you what I was doing. I was sitting in the hospital trying to comprehend what had just happened to me and what was happening to me and how close I came to death and the fact that I didn't like any of it very well. All while not feeling like death warmed over.

It all started with what I thought was cramps in my left calf for a few days and ended up with blood clots in my lungs before it was all said and done. I do know that I can tell you when that clot moved from my leg to my lungs because it woke me up in the middle of the night with horrible pain in my calf. Who knew that I could have lost my life then and there. Definitely not me.

I certainly didn't know how serious it was until all the Doctors were telling me how lucky I was because a Pulmonary Embolism can be fatal and when my clot went into my lungs it broke apart and I had multiple clots in my lungs. I am not sure which was worse, one clot or multiple clots. I tried to let it all sink in but there was so much information being thrown at me that it was hard to do and because I wasn't feeling "sick" I was having an even harder time comprehending it all. I guess you could say there was some denial in there. 

All I knew is that I wanted out of that hospital and I wanted to go home to my husband and daughter. I was put on Coumadin, which is a blood thinner so I was constantly getting my blood drawn so that they could check to see basically how thick my blood was. I wanted to quit getting my blood drawn every time I turned around and I wanted some time to myself. I was really tired of people being around all the time. There was someone in the bed next to me the whole week I was there and someone was always coming and going. I guess I wanted some time to just sit down and cry.

After I got out of the hospital I had an appointment with my Doctor a couple days later and we did some talking about my health issues. She just flat out told me that my health was on a downhill spiral out of control and I had to do something about it. That is really when everything hit me and I decided that if I wanted to be around to see my daughter continue to grow older and have an adult life and possibly children and if I wanted to continue to grow old with my husband then I better get my shit together.

So, I changed my eating habits by eating less processed foods and eating more fresh foods. Eating smaller portions and I gave up soda all together. I just took up drinking coffee again but I am going to limit myself to three cups per day but other than that it is strictly water for me. I watch my caloric intake and I took up swimming and I have been really good about swimming at least twice per week sometimes three times. So far I have lost 66 pounds but I have hit my first plateau and I have been stuck there for three months. I have been slacking a bit here lately but I have a goal that I will be working on starting here real soon so hopefully that gets me over this plateau and gets me going again.

October 2011

October 2012

  
Here one year later I am still going to get my blood levels (INR) checked once a month to see basically how long it takes my blood to clot. I must have some pretty thick blood because I take 12mg of Coumadin Monday - Friday and 10mg on Saturday and Sunday and everyone I have talked to has never heard of anyone taking that much before. As a matter of fact, I just had mine checked today and my INR was low at a 1.5, meaning that my blood clots too fast. Uggg, it is a never ending battle so this time I have to go back in two weeks. So much for the once per month thing!

I know that I do live my life a little differently now. I don't live for others any longer. Call me selfish, call me insane, call me what you want but I live for me and what is the most important in my life. I figure I was not put on this Earth to put to please everyone, nor will I try to be that person. Life is too short to try to live it for someone else that is for sure.

So, what were you doing this time last year?