Below you will find a picture of some eggs. Most people eat eggs. I happen to love eggs.....when the are cooked over medium...
NOT WHEN THEY ARE SPLATTERED ON OUR BIG PICTURE WINDOW!!
Yep, you guessed it!
Now, let me tell you the story.........
It was about midnight and Hubby had just got home from a friends house re-plumbing their bathroom and I had fixed him a couple of sandwiches and walked into the living room to give them to him. Now, I am standing about 2 1/2 feet from our huge (longer than our couch huge) picture window talking to him and KA-BAM!!
It sounded like a gun shot. I jumped and we all three (me, hubby and daughter) says "What was that?" Of course I am sure hubby and I threw a few more words in there. I turned around and there was egg running down the outside of the window. I look past the egg and see some jerk running down our driveway. Not gracefully either because of the snow. So me, being the calm person runs over to the front door and starts out, with my slippers on, because I am going to kick some major butt!! There are some things that I see NO humor in! Now as I am going out the door to chase the idiot running down my drive to the awaiting car sitting in the road with NO lights on. A black car to boot! My hubby is yelling "I am going! I am going!" Okay already then go! I didn't want to run down the drive in the snow anyway, especially in my slippers.
So hubby takes off out the door, by this time the idiot is now in the black neon and is trying to get it moving on our slicker that snot on a door knob road. Hubby jumps in his truck and he is trying to get it going in this snow. You know how it is when you are in a hurry and it's just impossible to get going on snow and ice. Well, anyway hubby gets going and chases him up the road about a quarter mile to our nearby christian school and hubby pulls in behind the idiot. Well, of course the idiot just threw an egg at someones window and they are chasing him, so he takes off again.
Hubby follows the idiot and has to make himself NOT run the idiot off the road. He says it's because then he would have to call the cops and tell them there was an accident, and that there is no damage really to either vehicle but the guy driving the other car will need a squad because he has had the crap beat out of him for being an idiot. Well Hubby follows him, oh about 4 or 5 miles and the idiot tries to turn left on snow and ice and was going a little too fast and couldn't make the turn so hubby got close enough to get that little piece of information that is on the back of the car that is all lit up with a nice white light. You know, the license plate number....
Hubby comes home and I get to make that phone call to our local Sheriffs department to tell them about the idiot throwing the egg at my house and the crazy husband that I have for chasing him down. The Sheriff's deputy gives me the name of the owner of the car and where they are from and says they are going to get into contact with them and see what's going on.
At about 2:00am I get a phone call from the deputy and he now has this 19 year old boy on the other line and explains that they are going to give him a WARNING for this because he has a clean record....but he has to come to MY house and apologize to me and my hubby. ROFLMAO The deputy wants to know if this is okay with me? I tell him "Yea, but not for a couple days because I would still like to knock the crap out of him." I probably should have not told the deputy that, but oh well.
So, next Saturday at 1:00pm he is supposed to be here. I would love to have a huge gathering at my house so that he has to apologize for being an IDIOT in front of everyone. I do have to admit that he can wing an egg quite a distance.
Now, while hubby is off chasing this idiot around on these snow covered icy roads, me and our daughter is cleaning the egg up before the darn crap freezes to the window, siding and everything else it hit on the porch. No fun let me tell you. While I am outside with no coat cleaning the window.....a daycare mommy pulls in to pick up her two boys and says, "WTH, are you doing?" I explain it to her and she says "NOT, with MY boys in your house!" and takes off to find Mr Idiot also. Now, she is gone and dear hubby is gone (without his cell phone) looking for the idiot. So I wait....and wait...and walk down to the road like the idiot is going to come back for me to knock the snot out of him...and wait...so I leave. I drive up the road to the church and pass hubby coming back home so I turn around and come back home and he is just beaming that he got their license plate number. So I call the daycare mommy, who is talking to a local town cop and give her the license number. She was not a happy camper either. lol
Now, I can't leave anything alone. So I know the last name and the town he is from so I start googling....guess what I found him! I also found out why he would be in our neck of the woods, since he lives about 30 minutes from here...his dear ole girl friend goes to that local Christian school. What a co-inky-dink! I clarified that with the Sheriff, just to make sure I had the right idiot. lol
Well I am looking forward to next Saturday, I may have to video it and put his apology on youtube or something. lol
It's now 3:00am and I am still wide awake and probably will be for quite sometime. I really hate idiots sometimes.
My feet are freezing and I can't wear my slippers because they are all wet from the darn snow outside.
idiot
1usually offensive : a person affected with extreme mental retardation
Yep, you guessed it!
Now, let me tell you the story.........
It was about midnight and Hubby had just got home from a friends house re-plumbing their bathroom and I had fixed him a couple of sandwiches and walked into the living room to give them to him. Now, I am standing about 2 1/2 feet from our huge (longer than our couch huge) picture window talking to him and KA-BAM!!
It sounded like a gun shot. I jumped and we all three (me, hubby and daughter) says "What was that?" Of course I am sure hubby and I threw a few more words in there. I turned around and there was egg running down the outside of the window. I look past the egg and see some jerk running down our driveway. Not gracefully either because of the snow. So me, being the calm person runs over to the front door and starts out, with my slippers on, because I am going to kick some major butt!! There are some things that I see NO humor in! Now as I am going out the door to chase the idiot running down my drive to the awaiting car sitting in the road with NO lights on. A black car to boot! My hubby is yelling "I am going! I am going!" Okay already then go! I didn't want to run down the drive in the snow anyway, especially in my slippers.
So hubby takes off out the door, by this time the idiot is now in the black neon and is trying to get it moving on our slicker that snot on a door knob road. Hubby jumps in his truck and he is trying to get it going in this snow. You know how it is when you are in a hurry and it's just impossible to get going on snow and ice. Well, anyway hubby gets going and chases him up the road about a quarter mile to our nearby christian school and hubby pulls in behind the idiot. Well, of course the idiot just threw an egg at someones window and they are chasing him, so he takes off again.
Hubby follows the idiot and has to make himself NOT run the idiot off the road. He says it's because then he would have to call the cops and tell them there was an accident, and that there is no damage really to either vehicle but the guy driving the other car will need a squad because he has had the crap beat out of him for being an idiot. Well Hubby follows him, oh about 4 or 5 miles and the idiot tries to turn left on snow and ice and was going a little too fast and couldn't make the turn so hubby got close enough to get that little piece of information that is on the back of the car that is all lit up with a nice white light. You know, the license plate number....
Hubby comes home and I get to make that phone call to our local Sheriffs department to tell them about the idiot throwing the egg at my house and the crazy husband that I have for chasing him down. The Sheriff's deputy gives me the name of the owner of the car and where they are from and says they are going to get into contact with them and see what's going on.
At about 2:00am I get a phone call from the deputy and he now has this 19 year old boy on the other line and explains that they are going to give him a WARNING for this because he has a clean record....but he has to come to MY house and apologize to me and my hubby. ROFLMAO The deputy wants to know if this is okay with me? I tell him "Yea, but not for a couple days because I would still like to knock the crap out of him." I probably should have not told the deputy that, but oh well.
So, next Saturday at 1:00pm he is supposed to be here. I would love to have a huge gathering at my house so that he has to apologize for being an IDIOT in front of everyone. I do have to admit that he can wing an egg quite a distance.
Now, while hubby is off chasing this idiot around on these snow covered icy roads, me and our daughter is cleaning the egg up before the darn crap freezes to the window, siding and everything else it hit on the porch. No fun let me tell you. While I am outside with no coat cleaning the window.....a daycare mommy pulls in to pick up her two boys and says, "WTH, are you doing?" I explain it to her and she says "NOT, with MY boys in your house!" and takes off to find Mr Idiot also. Now, she is gone and dear hubby is gone (without his cell phone) looking for the idiot. So I wait....and wait...and walk down to the road like the idiot is going to come back for me to knock the snot out of him...and wait...so I leave. I drive up the road to the church and pass hubby coming back home so I turn around and come back home and he is just beaming that he got their license plate number. So I call the daycare mommy, who is talking to a local town cop and give her the license number. She was not a happy camper either. lol
Now, I can't leave anything alone. So I know the last name and the town he is from so I start googling....guess what I found him! I also found out why he would be in our neck of the woods, since he lives about 30 minutes from here...his dear ole girl friend goes to that local Christian school. What a co-inky-dink! I clarified that with the Sheriff, just to make sure I had the right idiot. lol
Well I am looking forward to next Saturday, I may have to video it and put his apology on youtube or something. lol
It's now 3:00am and I am still wide awake and probably will be for quite sometime. I really hate idiots sometimes.
My feet are freezing and I can't wear my slippers because they are all wet from the darn snow outside.
idiot
1usually offensive : a person affected with extreme mental retardation2 : a foolish or stupid person
— idiot adjective
Synonyms blockhead, cretin, dodo, dolt, donkey, dope, dork [slang], dumbbell, dummy, dunce, fathead, goon, half-wit, ignoramus, imbecile, jackass, knothead, moron, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, numskull (or numbskull), pinhead, simpleton, stock, turkey
Related Words booby, fool, goose, loony (also looney), lunatic, madman, nut, zany; loser; gawk; featherbrain, scatterbrain; beast, boor, cad, churl, clown, creep, cur, heel, jerk, skunk, snake, stinker, villain
Near Antonyms egghead, intellectual, sage, thinker
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Argh that is awful!!!!! My house got egged once when I was in 8th grade and my mom decided to blame me...like I wanted this dumb girl to egg our house! I hope you got it all cleaned up okay.
ReplyDeleteGOT to video the apology and put it on your blog! PRICELESS!
ReplyDelete